Monday, May 9, 2016

Of backs, rain, and Kitty Cats and also Star Wars

It is blessedly raining and cold today. I am stationed on the sofa prepared to do as little as possible barring the dishes and taking a shower. Narcisa is keeping me company so to speak, in sitting in front of the patio window. We are listening to the birds, the rain, and enjoying the view. Although hers a bit more like live cat TV.  Because she gets so excited and likes to climb the screen, we have to keep the fireplace screen in front of the door. Which gives it a use all year round.

My house is a cluttered mess but for once, I just don't care. I think for me that's a sign that my depression is getting worse. There are some other indicators like not wanting to cook, not wanting to leave the house, feeling like I just don't have the energy to take a shower, and sleeping a lot (which I did yesterday). I've kind of been in a funk of sorts ever since I was sick and haven't quite come out of it. 

To go along with the funk or to make things worse, I've done something to my back again. Amanda's car is a manual or stick shift and lately trying to drive has been a bit painful in that when I move my legs to push on the petals my back gets pissy. Sometimes walking, sometimes sitting certain ways, and most certainly when I lay down in bed at night my back gives me grief. None of this makes me happy. None of this is easy or helps when I want to go do things in and out of my house. And if my back wasn't enough of a problem, now my neck is giving me shit too. I don't know what I did to it, but it feels like I can't get any relief from it either. 

So today, I say screw it. I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to sit on the sofa, drink some Golden Chai Tea with Turmeric because Turmeric is supposed to have anti-inflammation properties, finish watching Red Data Girl, and read a little. No homework today. I'm going to wait until Amanda gets home to take a shower just in case my back goes out, that way I don't fall or get stuck, unable to move. You know, that's a big part of the issue. I'm fucking 32 years old and I'm afraid to take a shower because of my stupid back locking up, going out, or whatever the hell it does. All my stupid doctors see is the damned weight and how I need to get it off. Well duh! No shit, but you can't get weight off if you can't fucking move! So instead of focusing on that, why don't you actually focus on the root of the problem so we can get to the secondary problem. Common sense folks. Common fucking sense. I can't walk if I can't move and throwing a bunch of pills that makes me so damned tired that I sleep all the time doesn't do any damned good.

On a happier note note, I think, four or five sparrows just got into what I think is a fight in the tree outside my patio. It was kind of intense and I heard a new sound from one of them, some sort of angry clicking. 

Also, I bought and Amanda and I have both seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I thought the dialogue was better in this movie than any of the others, it felt like it flowed better. I also liked the J. J. Abrams style effects. I feel it gave the Star Wars universe a fresh feel. However, I kept looking for things in the movie that I knew were cannon in the Star Wars universe that never appeared. I don't want to go into it too much because I don't want to spoil it for anyone who still hasn't seen it, but what about the Mara Jade arc? I told my Dad that while I haven't read every Star Wars book, I've know about Mara Jade since Star Wars Episode one came out and I was reading stuff on the internet about the universe. Dad said, when he gets his good computer up and running again, he has- up until that time- all the Star Wars novels on his hard drive and he will send them to me. He found free pdfs or something. I have all the Jedi Apprentice books with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn and the Episode one novel. That aside, since my initial viewing of The Force Awakens, I've seen it a few more times and am actually happy with it. Also, Chewbacca is freaking old! He's been around and at least an adult Wookiee since Anakin Skywalker was a teenager. How long is a Wookiee's life span? Star Wars wiki says the average life span of a Wookiee is 400 years. 

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