Thursday, May 12, 2016

A hard day, bad news-good news, and some apps (are they really necessary?)

One of my favorite artists, Nene Thomas

So my day was rough. It started out well. I took a shower without having a small freak out from the enclosed space and humidity and bonus I was able to do it while Amanda was at work. I've had some problems with my shower pretty much since we moved in but as long as I open the closet door between the bathroom and our bedroom and point my fan in and have the bathroom fan going, I have less issues. I've also managed to figure out a way to keep the shower curtain off me so I don't feel so boxed in. 

Continuing on from there, I went to a friend's new little Cottage to see all the progress they have made since moving in, have tea, and just visit. I was there for a couple of hours. And after I left there is where things kind of turned to shit. I went to one of our local grocery stores to get a money order but they only take cash. So I went to another store only to have my card declined which made no sense to me. Frustrated I tried to log into my account to figure out why, and because I had to pee, needed to eat something, and was starting to panic, I couldn't remember my login info. So I left the store and went to the car and tried to calm down. But then I tried to drive thinking I was okay. Lunch rush hour traffic was a mess, the sun was bright and burning my arm, and I got every red light. So the panic attack flared up again. But it was manageable enough that I was able to calm down long enough to pull in somewhere, sit for a few minutes, and then go get food. From there I just came home. 

I called my Dad after I ate. My Mom's jumping has been so bad that she dislocated her shoulder and had to pop it back in place by herself because my Dad wasn't home. Then she figured out that the new medication she was put on that had been working really well, hadn't been in her medicine box. So they are fixing that issue. My Dad on the other hand is not doing well. His depression is worse, meds suck, he thinks the staff infection on his ankle might be coming back, and the job prospect he had looks like it's not going to work out. I just want to parent-nap them! 

My doctor's office is making me drive into CDA to pick up my medical records instead of mailing them out to me like they did Amanda's. Apparently she didn't have a fee for her but I do, so I have to take at least an hour out of my day to go deal with that crap. The good news is, I was looking for a more holistic doctor's office and I found one that takes my insurance. I just have to call the see if they are taking new patients with my insurance, do a consultation and go from there. I really really hope that they take me. I really want to check this place out, especially after spending at least an hour reading over everything on the website. 

I had another panic attack this evening on the way home to Stitch & Witch. I think I got a little overwhelmed from the noise and how many people were crammed into the conference room at the coffee shop we went met at. I think everything from the day and being overwhelmed and then brooding a little bit kicked the panic attack off. I had to pull over. Which didn't make me happy because I thought I was doing better. I really truly hate this crap. But the good news here is at least I didn't have to take a xanax. 

Okay so good stuff. I had to look at some "wellness" apps for my wellness class. I found a chakra meditation app on google play. I found a water reminder app where you can set an alarm to remind you that you need to drink some water and it also keeps track of your intake. I found a mood tracker where I can list the activities I've done for the day and make notes. I don't know that I really need all these fancy apps. I don't like being so tied to my phone, computer, or even my kindle. I like to take breaks from electronics. However, I thought I would try these apps out for awhile and I remember to use them, I might keep them, if not, I will get rid of them. 

Well, I need to get back to doing homework. I have two final project drafts to write up this week. One is a power point presentation and the other is 20 more pages of a story. I can do both, I am just tired and kind of want to go to bed. 

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