Saturday, October 15, 2016

Halloween shopping, memory malfunction, and body fails.

I found this gem on pinterest when I searched for vampire art. It is beautiful, I adore that she's feeding a bat.
Today was the day that we planned to actually celebrate our anniversary and I woke up in pain, having a fibromyalgia flare up something awful. I wasn't going to let it ruin my day, so I got dressed and watched Amanda pay bills. We went to Taco Bell for brunch. After that, things went very wonky, at least for me. I am going to break this up in terms of places we went today.

Winco. We did the bulk of our grocery shopping at this store and I knew I was pushing it by the time we left the produce section- which is the first part of the store we hit. I hung in there for the meat section and the dairy section, but when we arrived in the middle isles, I was kind of foggy-brained and beginning to sweat, not because I was hot mind you, but because I was in pain. I told Amanda before we made it to the check out counter that I was going to need a scooter in Wal-Mart. I actually began to get a bit short and frustrated because she seemed a bit sluggish, I needed to get out to the car, and there was a woman behind us who just didn't seem to want to get out of my way at first so I could line the cart up next to Amanda while she bagged our groceries, and then she took bags and went up the line because she didn't want to have to wait on people with larger amounts of groceries. On one hand I get it, but on the other, she was driving me nuts.

The Post Office. I finally, finally had the money to send off a gift to someone. I got the box, got in line, was handed a shipping label, filled out the recipients address and when it came to mine I knew everything except the numbers of the street address. I panicked. I panicked so bad that I didn't realize that I could have just opened my wallet and looked at my driver's license. I panicked so bad that I just slapped the only numbers I could think of, hoped they were right, realized that I had forgotten Amanda's card, and had to run out to the car to get it. It got sent though.

Walmart. When we arrived at Walmart, I was still a little freaked from the post office and didn't know how much longer, physically I was going to make it for the day. To my dismay all the scooter carts were being used. So, I told myself that I WOULD make it no matter how much pain I was in. I tried to go as fast as I could through the store. We got a few Halloween goodies, picked up some allergy meds, stopped in the craft section so I could grab some felt, then went to the pet isles to get Narcisa some food. Then we hit the baby isles to get a few things for a baby shower gift for tomorrow. When we left that part of the store to finish up the food shopping we needed to do, I was trying not to panic from pain, scream, and cry. I told Amanda that I needed her to find a scooter. She was going to do it but I said never mind, I could do it and took a breath to push on. Thankfully we didn't need much and I sent her to the candy isle to grab some for us to have little treats here and there. I was shaking and I knew I was fast approaching pass out point. So, we booked it to stand in line.

Car ride. The ride home was awful. We don't live too far from any of the places we went today. It;s maybe a ten minute drive from our house to Wal-mart, depending on traffic, but it felt longer than that. On top of everything, my back seized up in the car, and it was so bad that I instantly began ugly crying and panicking. I had to sit just so or the pain grew worse. 

Home. When we got home, Amanda shouldered all the groceries while I came inside. I told her if she gave me a little bit, I would happily put the groceries away. I think she told me to take my time but, I honestly don't remember. What I do remember is that I sat and looked at some of our mail and then, in her rolling desk chair, scooted over to put groceries away. I didn't have the 'spoons' to do my usual food prep and honestly, tomorrow isn't looking that great either. I am thinking Sunday may have to be the day for it. I also have to make bread and our lunches for the week. 

This evening we had a study group call with some friends. A couple had to come over because of technical malfunctions and they stayed for a little bit afterward. We talked books, writing, SCA, and I think we might do a small NaNoWriMo write in together. I need to talk to Amanda about it. 

In summation, as much as today sucked for me pain and panic wise, as much as I wanted to scream and punch something, I still had good moments. I still had fun with friends and with Amanda. I think if not for those things, if not for Narcisa's antics, it would have been a no good, horrible, very bad day. 


  1. oh my god, you poor thing!I'm glad you have a positive attitude, a supportive partner and a cute cat to keep your spirits up. hope today is better for you.

    1. Thank you, it was. We went to my friend's post birth baby shower and I got to hold the baby. She is adorable and has little elf ears.