Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Daddies cry too, a possibly very sick kitty, and a burning sensation that won't quit.

I am a total Daddy's girl. He's my go to guy for nearly anything I am unsure of or want more information on. He's smart, funny, and fun to be around, gives the best hugs, and sometimes he's a complete ass. But he's human with human emotions. When I was a little girl I only saw my Dad cry once and that was because he and my Mom were having a really bad fight. They rarely fight, so if and when they do, it's usually over something big. The next time I would see him cry was a my Great Grandma Ireland's funeral.

As I've grown up, I've seen my Dad cry at funerals of dearly departed loved ones and surprisingly enough, a couple of times while watching movies. Dad cried when we watched Harry Potter, when Haggrid came back at the end of the film after being sent away from Hogwarts. And, he was man enough to admit it when I asked if he was getting teary-eyed.

Tonight, my Dad cried for a reason that isn't within the norm of what I have known him to cry over. Every once in awhile things get to be too much and people need release. People get sad and need to cry. My Dad has a lot of reasons to be depressed, angry, and frustrated over. Grandpa, his father, has Alzheimer's and we don't think Grandpa will be sharp for much longer. His mind is going pretty quickly. Dad is scared to lose his father and he's scared that he too might be facing the same mental future. I'm scared for him too, more so for him than for myself because I will do everything I can to take care of him no matter what condition he's in.

Dad is also very worried and furious about his job situation. He used to work in adult residential corrections and he was great at it. Seriously, his old employees walked up to him recently and told him that they missed him and the center where he worked is falling apart now that he's not there to keep it running properly.  Once, sometime ago, someone even called him a 'residential beast', he was that good at his job.

Anyway, since they eliminated his position in adult residential due to budget cuts, he was lucky enough to be offered a job in Juvenile corrections doing about the same thing, with the same pay and benefits. He took it because he's too young to retire, he actually likes what he does, and he and Mom need the county benefits and medical insurance.

Things have not been going well since his transfer. Apparently he has some very petty co-workers who don't like to be corrected, have their flaws pointed out, or be upstaged by someone who actually does their job and does it well if not better than they do. It's not that my Dad is trying to be some show off or create confrontation and tension, he's just trying to do his job right, the way it's supposed to be done, and get on about his business. Sometimes that means that he has to step on a few toes. It doesn't mean he likes doing it. He'd rather get along with everything.

But his personnel review came up and several of those co-workers pitched a fit about him, complained, and made trouble. So now Dad is on probation and when they decide to downsize, he will be one of the first to lose his job. And with the way the economy is now and the cost of medical appointments and medicine, he and Mom will be quite literally fucked.

On top of all of it, Dad suffers from severe depression. It doesn't help that I am moving away for who knows how long or that out of the group of four friends he hung out with in school, there are only two of them left, him being one of them. And he's tired and gets horrible migraines and I think tonight everything just hit him the wrong way.I hate hearing either of my parents cry, but when Dad cries and there isn't anything I can do to help, it makes me feel awful.

On to matters of a possibly sick kitty. My mom's cat Felan Phoebe ( pronounced~ Fee lawn) or Fifi as we like to call her, has become very thin. She used to be so fat, nigh obese for a small cat, in fact she looked like she'd swallowed a barrel. At first I thought that she was losing so much weight because my cat Galen has become a bully and chases her and my other cat, Yoda, away from the food dish. I've been getting after Galen for being such an ass and he seems to have toned that behavior down.

But Felan is still getting thin. She's so skinny I can easily feel her bones and she's lighter than my cousin's 9 month old kitten. And now she's taken to peeing on clothing in the basement. I thought maybe she was peeing on the clothes because of Galen. Then I thought it was because she was sick, but I've watched her and she's doing it on purpose so I'm beginning to wonder if its a combination of both.

As far as my back is concerned, it's still not much better. I think I've mentioned a burning sensation and today it's been really bad. I had my own bit of crying from it earlier today and my Mom wanted to give me some of her medicine. Since this isn't seeming to get better, I'm going to have to look for other things I can do to help myself. Medicine and exercises, even the home exercises for spinal decompression just don't seem to be enough. Or maybe I'm doing them wrong. I'll have to check and see.

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