A lackluster helloooooo and Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Yule/Jul/ Christmas!

I will eventually post the books we received and maybe some of the movies. Amanda gave me The White Queen which is about Pre-Tutor England. I am excited for it. But posting that stuff will have to wait. I'm far too exhausted and in too much pain to go gather all the books and fight with my camera to do so. My camera is acting up and I'm not sure why. The photo above was taken with my phone but I really don't like my phone camera, it's grainy as hell and I haven't figured out how to tinker with it yet. Not that I have actually tried mind you. 

I finally finished my Water and Fire afghan. I want to do Air and Earth next but I will save that project for a later date. I decided to start an afghan for my cousin because she needs all the love she can get. She requested purple and black and I chose a wave pattern. I started it last night while watching a Nova episode on the Viking Sword which only made me miss the blacksmithing I did when I was in the SCA. Yes, you read right, I did some blacksmithing. I wanted to try everything and found pounding hot metal soothing and was excited to see something take shape and form. We also watched Ever After High and a movie about a cat although I can't remember the name of it. 

Yesterday was an awful sort of day in that I awoke late and in a lot of pain all over, even my toes hurt. It was so awful! I spent an hour or so toying with the idea of going back to bed and Amanda made the decision for me when she arrived home early from work. She made me take some medicine and put me to bed, of course she came with me. She wasn't feeling very well either. Today, I'm not feeling much better but I am going to try taking a hot shower and use some of the wonderful bubbling body scrub that a friend sent us for Christmas. It's soft enough that I don't think it will hurt. Sometimes when I have big flare ups of pain, even my clothes hurt. 

I think Galen has a cold. He's wheezing more than usual and making a very strange cough/gagging sound. He is still eating and drinking and when Amanda gets paid we are going to get him some medicine. 

Well I've sat at my desk as long as I can stand so I am going to go take my shower and hope it helps. Have a happy and safe New Year and I will see you next year! 

   

It's finally over! Post Office Strikes again, subjects I can stand, lack of communication, and yes damn it, more Rocket Raccoon!

Let's start with the obvious. Rocket Raccoon has kind of been a comfort to me. It might seem weird or strange that a cgi gun-toting, foul-mouthed, bomb making raccoon would be comforting, but well, he is. His face reminds me of Yoda, my kitty who passed away this year. Raccoon's are an animal I fell in love with as a child, my parents and family members used to get me plush raccoon toys (I have a small collection), and he just makes me happy. So, the other day when I wasn't doing so well, I watched a little bit of Guardians of the Galaxy, to see Rocket and because its just fun. 

This latest college term is over. I'm not 100% sure of my grades and at this point, I don't care so long as I passed. It was just a crap term and there are better ones ahead. But for now I have a two week break wherein I can actually read something I want to read and study something I want to study, write, do crafts, watch anime, or play games. All things I can stand doing.

So, I learned some new things about a friend that I didn't know. I thought that she merely tolerated me for the sake of her sister and Amanda. Apparently she likes Amanda and me, yes even me, much more than that. This girl is a wall. I read people pretty well but she is mostly a blank to me. Of course she's scared of confrontation and sucks at communication as well, so that doesn't help either of us out. Anyway, she's the maid of honor in a mutual friend's wedding and she needs some help, so I am going to see if I can't help her out. 

I ran out of two colors of yarn I was using for my parents afghan and neither of the places I usually get yarn have those colors in stock. Also, time was limited and I was panicking, so I finished it off, packed a couple of extra goodies into their box, and mailed that off today. 

And speaking of mailing things. Remember that trouble I had with my postal carrier earlier this month where she was basically too lazy to walk my packages down the steps to my door and tried to claim that she didn't know if I lived here despite her delivering my mail here for the last 3 years? Well, it seems another person in the post office has that issue today, this I overheard while boxing up my parent's Christmas present. I was thinking how much it sucked and half a dozen other random thoughts while looking around the counter to see if there was any tape. Found some tape just sitting out near by and used it without a second thought. Well, Amanda and I got up to the counter, talked to the post office employee while she rang up our boxes, and then she asks us about the tape, which we both used. I told her that I did use the tape, that it was lying out on the counter. To which her reply in lecture/chew us out form was that any tape we use from them we have to pay for, she didn't know why someone would do that, and that she wouldn't charge us for it this time. Um... okay, thanks, I think. She was just so rude about it, kind of degrading actually, that we kind of wanted to tell her that next time we'd go to Fed Ex. They tape our boxes for free, are nicer, and closer to where we live. But we didn't. We just paid and left. 

Other than getting really freaked out at the grocery store today because of so many shopper, most of which were cranky (I swear it was like four different people were following me), I got a new wallet today. It is simple, black but it is as big as I need it to be and has a spot for everything I need, plus a zipper part for my change. I also locked the keys in the car. We parked in front of Game Stop to finish our lunch and since Amanda's Dad left the keys in the ignition and ran the battery down, the car no longer dings and it doesn't keep the car unlocked if the keys are still in the ignition, which they were. I got out and locked my door and then realized exactly what I had done. Thankfully, we weren't too far from home. Unfortunately, we had to go into Game Stop to ask to use their phone because I left mine in the car. Amanda's Dad came with the other set of keys shortly after and we were able to go about our day, which for me was full of tears over stupid shit because of this and that and the end of the term and my period. 

Aside from that, we had a fantastic Yule and I will probably post all my Yule Swag later. For now, I am going to relax and take a nice hot shower.  

I have a minute

It's the end of the term so what does that mean for me? Relief dangling in the very near future that I'm crawling closer to everyday. 

This term of college has not been a good one. Worst of all, I don't really feel that I will have accomplished much by the end of it. Sure I will have good grades but it's really taken it's toll on me. I've found myself asking the question of "why am I doing this?" I know why. I want to be a better writer. I want to have my BA so when I am able to return to the work force I can actually go for a career instead of positions I have worked in the past. 

But this term has truly wiped me out. Getting sick in the middle certainly didn't help. Needless to say I've pretty much done homework, every day, all day, except the few days I've just had to decompress. However, I wasn't decompressing enough and that really took it's toll. On top of that I'm having some issues with my period again that are not helping. And it's been one thing on top of another. One issues or stressor compounding another. Ugh! Yesterday I was so exhausted, so just wiped, that for about half the day, intermittently mind you, I sat and stared at the wall. Of course that's when the depression and panic would kick in and I will admit to be a 30 year old woman who sat at her desk and cried while hugging a teddy bear. And then I got angry because of how ridiculous it all was, which only made me cry again. 

I did manage to get some homework done yesterday. I did the last learning module for the Context of Writing class and took the notes I should have taken for my paper weeks ago. Why I didn't take them weeks ago, two works, Math Hell. Since I got all of that done and out of the way yesterday, I can write my paper to day. And like last night, as soon as that is finished, I am going to do a little self care and watch something I want to watch (instead f what everyone else wants to watch) and crochet. Doing that last night really helped and I felt kind of good this morning when I awoke. Yes, I was in pain like I am everyday with the added bonus pain of a head ache, but otherwise, I felt much better. 

While I have been dealing with homework, there's been other things going on. We are deeply disappointed in a set of friends for one. We are in the continuing battle to balance things out here at home. We are looking for other possible places to move and looking for another job for Amanda. We are trying to get out and do things with the IEPG as often as we are able. Both of us are worrying over my parents and their situation. We are worrying about Amanda's parents as well. And I've got some troubling health concerns to discuss with my doctor. A couple people are pushing to me to get my thyroid levels checked. I'm worried that my wheat allergy has gotten worse. And I am beginning to have trouble with my legs swelling again. But going to the doctor will just have to wait until after New Year's. I just don't have time between now and then or the money up front for the lab work. 

On the plus side, both Galen and Narcisa are napping on the bed and they both look so adorable. I want to curl up next to them but I on'y took time out to write a blog to get my writing muscles warmed up so I can write my 9-12 page paper on Harper Lee and her book To Kill a Mockingbird.     

Cleaning, homework woes, shocking and sad news, Rocket Raccoon!

With some of the money my Grandparents sent me for Christmas, I bought Guardians of the Galaxy on Bluray. Now without ever seeing this movie before or reading any comics, I knew I was going to like Rocket Raccoon. It's a talking, gun toting, space raccoon, what's not to like?! After seeing the movie, I. LOVE. HIM! I pretty much want to hug him! Of course, I adore Groot! He's wonderful! But Rocket it my favorite. 

After taking my statistics test and getting a not so stellar score, I decided to call it a day on homework last night. I did check to see if I could do the next math assignment so at least that could get done on time. I can. But I learned something interesting. Apparently I am not the only person struggling with probability. It seems most of my class is and because of that our instructor has granted everyone another chance to retake the test to improve our scores and an extension. She also posted a power point that reviews the test. Personally, I think that's great! So, after I make a beef and veggie stew for dinner, I will go take care of that and then move on to this week's assignment. But somewhere either today or tomorrow, I have got to get my Context of Writing Paper started, edited, and finished. It's due this Sunday. 

Last night the under wire to one of my good bra's broke. I am really not happy about that. I've had this bra for two years now and loved it!

On to this morning. I got up later than I wanted to but I got dressed, ate, and had a cup of coffee. I'd decided last night instead of starting with homework first and then spending all day on it as I have pretty much the last several weeks, I would clean a little. So, I started with the part of the bathroom that I can clean, which is the mirror, vanity/sink, top half and inside of the toilet, and the outside of the shower doors. I also reorganized the little metal shelf we keep necessities wash cloths, and some books on. I have to do a lot of this sitting down, which doesn't really make it easier but it does help my back. When that was finished, I picked up the bedroom and while still in my desk chair, I tried vacuuming. I'm not supposed to sweep or vacuum with the way my back is. Of course, as usual, I woke up in pain, but I'm not sure I will be doing this all that often because I am hurting more than I was earlier. It was worth a shot. I  also reorganized my desk. 

Also this morning, I'd gotten a call from my cousin Shi-Chan only I was asleep so I had to call her back. Well along with the normal shitty crap she's dealing with in her life, she learned last week that one of our friends is in the hospital with a terminal illness. This friend of ours lives several states away so she can't make it out to see them and neither can I. Technically I'm not supposed to know yet because they don't want a lot of people to know. This person is trying to keep their troubles away from other people, which I understand so I'm not saying anything along the usual channels. Its awful! Really truly awful. I feel bad for them but also for Shi-Chan because she is closer to this friend of ours than I am and she just lost one of her Uncles and two years ago she lost her Dad. 

Just sad, stressful things happening all around. But hey, there's always Rocket Raccoon, the kitties, and the nap I am very tempted to take. 

Quick Kitty-shitty picture update

I don't know what is up with the camera on my phone and I haven't really had time to truly check out all the functions. But that's neither here nor there other than it takes some crappy pictures at the moment. 

I'm at my desk again today for this week's homework. My back hurts as always but today my neck has decided to join the party and my head makes three so I will be seeing out some medicine here in a few minutes. Narcisa has also joined me. She likes to curl up on my desk and watch me fuss over my homework. She also enjoys distracting me with her general cuteness but also with stealing various items, chewing on my notebook or planner, or other various objects, mainly my computer cord. Today she's decided to take a nap behind the laptop. Of course she's all tuckered out from her car ride to see where Amanda works and meet Amanda's boss and co-worker. She even spent a whole three minutes alone in the car while I deposited a Christmas check from my Grandparents in the bank. The ATM is outside at my bank so I kept an eye on her. She purred when I came back to the car. She rides pretty well too. She likes to curl up on the floor or on a seat. 

Grandma and Grandpa sent more than money for Christmas. Grandma embroidered some tea towels for me! They have animals and birds but the best part is that they smell like her house. I kind of want to curl up with them and pretend I am there. But I will have to do that later and I don't want to do that to too many of them else I will lose that nice smell. That and I am keeping them for when Amanda and I move out of her parent's house. 

Well, off to homework land I go. yuck!

It's an all pain, no bra, homework filled, want to go back to sleep, and kind of inspired kind of day.

Emmeline is my Steampunk Name and I adore it! Plus, Vampy cuteness!

My Steampunk name has nothing to do with today's post nor am I going to get into it further than, I adore that picture. I don't even remember what my search was when I found it else I would tell you but when I saw it, it was love at first sight and I knew I had save it! I'm going to seek out the artist soon and see what else she or he has done. 

Anyway, today isn't a total bust, but kind of close. My back is hurting something awful and it apparently wanted company because my neck, shoulders, and head have come to the party as well. I still have homework, but there are only two weeks left and then I get a break, thank the Gods! I do want to go back to sleep though which is why I am not moving everything over to the bed where I know I will be more comfortable. I am just too tried and the minute I am even the slightest bit comfortable, I'm out. 

The no bra bit. It's not out of comfort, in fact I am more uncomfortable without one on. I am leaving the bra off today because the strap from the one I was wearing yesterday and the day before (Shut up I don't have that many) rubbed me raw and between that and me not paying attention and scratching, I have a bit of chaffing. So, I am giving my skin a break and applying a triple antibiotic ointment to help it heal faster without infection, not that it would get infect but you never know. This isn't some common occurrence but my skin is very sensitive and it really doesn't take much for me have this problem.  

I am a little inspired. With all the homework and being in and out of the house the last month or so, we haven't really done a lot of cleaning. Our house isn't bad, but it's not dusted and there's some clutter out and about. A posted some pictures of her lovely "cave" and now I kind of want to do the same of our space but I won't until I get some cleaning done. We just have a bedroom and bathroom to ourselves, the rest of the apartment is shared between Amanda, myself, and her parents, although I tend to spend more time in my room than anywhere else. That will change when we get a place of our own. 

Well, I really do feel like I am about to fall asleep so I had better get to work on my homework. I have a big paper to write this week, some Yule stuff to plan and organize here at home, and Amanda needs some help with her blog tonight. 

Oh and did I mention that while we've been engaged for a few years, we've decided that we are going to finally set a date and get married? Well, we are. Of course since gay marriage is kind of joke in Idaho thank to our oh so accepting Governor Butch Otter and his continued campaign to get that right revoked, we are going to wait until we move to Washington state. I will let friends and family know as soon as we do but I will not be posting it here. As someone who was born and raised in Kansas and has personally seen Westboro Baptist Church in action, I don't want or need them picketing my wedding. Not that I would be a bridezilla, but I would hurt them. 

Still getting caught up, Roy Mustang, Keeping track of food makes you feel like a pig, at least it's tasty!

Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist because I neeeeeeed him, or rather to look at him. He is eye candy for my strained, tried, sandpapery eyes. That and he always cheers me up and after some things I saw tonight, I really need that. Don't worry, nothing tragic- unless you call seeing some bitch you used to know actually making a profit off of something she just decided to sit down and do one day. Something that you have been developing and putting in long hours of your life hone your skills and actually be good at. Ehm, no, I'm not bitter at all. But let me clarify why I am so bitter and the aforementioned reason is really just the poisoned icing of the matter.

If she and I were still friends, I wouldn't be angry over her success. I would be proud of her and cheering her on. But we aren't still friends and I don't think anyone who has done the kinds of horrible shit she's done to other people should get to live a happy life with everything she's ever wanted and still shit on the people she's hurt the most. Seeing her vanity/self published works get such great reviews over on amazon tonight was infuriating and hell. I know I shouldn't allow her to still get under my skin, but really after everything she did to Amanda's parents, the things she said about them that were so far from the truth it wasn't even funny, all the pain and suffering, and mess Amanda and I had to help clean up and are kind of being punished for even now. It is not fair. And I know life isn't fair but if life isn't fair then by the gods, I think that bitch should drown in her own vomit or choke on glass! 

Needless to say I was so pissed and upset I ate a cupcake and then one more snack than I was supposed to and then chased it with a bottle of water, as if that makes it better. I've started keeping track of my food intake and trying to limit how much I eat as well as changing how I eat in general so I can lose weight. I know things are stacked against my in a lot of respects but I believe I can do it and I have a wonderful friend helping me out and between her and Amanda supporting me and vice versa, I think we can all get to where we want to be. Of course, I haven't had the best two food days and looking back... yeah I need some work and to cut some of the convenience stuff out. It's just far too easy to put a pizza in the oven when your back is killing you and you're tired and still have a shit ton of homework to do.  

Slowly but surely I am finally getting caught up on my homework from that week of being sick and having such a hellish time in math. I've managed to complete two modules in Context of writing and only have one thing left to finish in the last module. I had a great tutoring appointment with the math people and have finally finished the horrible chapter I was having problems with and while I had to take the test three time, I got it! I do have to do two more modules and the test but once all of that is done, I can take a day or so to just breathe.  

We are having a little bit of trouble with our mail carrier. She seems to be too lazy to walk packages to our door and knock. In fact she was too lazy to bring a note about how she was holding 4 parcels and didn't know if I actually lived here, never mind that she has delivered packages and mail to me at this residence for the last three years. I am not the only one who has had trouble with this in town. Apparently there is a new law stating that all the parcels from the Veteran's Hospital need to be signed for. Of course I learned that while standing in line to get stamps and pick up my packages from an angry, disabled Veteran who didn't get his package of medication. He was not happy. Of course our particular mail carrier hadn't come back to the post office yet so we had to pick up my packages this morning, where I heard that yet another person was in for the same reason I was. Another carrier failed to leave a package like they were supposed too. Now I get that they are swamped and I sympathize. But that is no way to run a business. They need to hire more people on during the holidays, even temporary workers, because otherwise, if this shit keeps up, people are going to take their business elsewhere. One of my friends said she was bypassing USPS and going to ship a package to us through FedEx. I don't blame her. I am considering them as well to ship one to my parents.  Although, my parent's mail carrier is very good.

But anyway, I am going to bed for now. I didn't sleep very well last night and have been up since 8 am this morning. 

Happy things, maddening things, and well, lots of things!

My Downton Abbey came in the mail today.

Isn't pretty! I know Downton Abbey isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love it and seasons 1-4 have come into my possession! Okay, I got it in the mail today after ordering it from Amazon on a fantastic deal! I paid 30 something for this set. I posted as much on facebook and my friend Emma demanded I send her a link, which I did. The price has gone up to 40 something, but that's still a really good deal.

I have been very busy as of late. Like I said before, I'd gotten sick. Playing catch up with my homework has pretty much consumed most of my time. I have since learned that the Math lab program is a pain in the ass of dastardly proportions and that I am basically doing the calculus of statistics. I've put in so much time working on the Statistics homework alone. I finally had to set it aside because my context of writing class was suffering. And it wasn't that I didn't know how to do the math homework. I was doing it just fine, it was just taking me 2-3 hours to do one problem and I got booted from the system the 1st time I did it. So when I logged back and found that my answers hadn't saved and I had to do it all over again with a completely new set of data, I kind of freaked. But I did it, only I forgot to put in a negative sign on the answer and had to do it all over again. Finally, I gave up on that problem but things just escalated from there and after three days of endless statistical hell, I just said screw it. I have an appointment with the tutoring center in the morning because apparently there's a software that does this stuff for you, you know so you aren't doing it step by step by hand. I will see how that goes and if this problem doesn't get resolved, I have vowed to fail the class. I simply cannot devote any more fruitless time to it and let the other class suffer. I will simply have to find a different math class to take. 

I really haven't done much else aside from homework and a few errands. I just haven't been feeling very well. We have done a little shopping, granted most of that has been online from Amazon. It was cheaper to get my textbooks for the next term from them and there were a couple of things I haven't been able to find locally. I actually do like to shop locally. 

The night before Thanksgiving Amanda and I were out running a few errands. I needed some winter candles for my altar and we decided to buy Christmas/Yule cards because I just don't think I will have time between now and when they need to be sent out to make them like I usually do. Which is actually a shame because I do enjoy making cards and playing with my embossing gun, paper, and stamps and ribbon. Anyway we found two long tapper candles that are pine scented, two small pillar candles that are cinnamon scented, and an apple cider tall pillar candle. We also found some beautiful non-religious Christmas cards that will work for all of our friends and family. Amanda is working on a little Yule/Christmas poem/letter and I've got all the envelopes addressed with the return address. We are printing out everyone else's address and gluing it on the envelop. 

Unfortunately, that trip to the store was marred by the fact that my Aunt Laura called me. She's my Mom's identical twin. Anyway I got the lecture about calling her more often. I got preached at and she really needs to stop that because A) I know she knows I am pagan because she likes the pagan things I post on facebook, B) She is the biggest hypocrite I have ever met and so many ways, and C) I am happy with the spiritual path I a walk. It is mine, not hers! On top of that this woman lied to me again! She was talking about how she has bone cancer and is going to have surgery and blah blah blah. She insisted on talking to Amanda after that and told her something different. Then she got pissed at Amanda when Amanda accidentally let it slip that we are moving to Spokane instead of back to Kansas. Needless to say that was not a pleasant conversation for us. We hadn't wanted to talk to her but we figured that we ought too, so my Cousin Shi-Chan wouldn't bear the brunt of my Aunt's vicious wrath. Seriously, this is no exaggeration.

I spoke with my Mom after that and my Mom clarified that Aunt Laura doesn't have bone cancer, something just looks odd on an x-ray and she will have to have some tests done. Well, my Mom must have said something to Aunt Laura because I got a heated message on my voice mail from my aunt demanding that I call her back because she NEEDS to talk to me. Until I hear from my Mom that it is in fact bone cancer, I refuse to believe my Aunt. She's screamed bone cancer and all sorts of things before so much that haven't be real or true that when she does come down with something no one knows if she is telling the truth and she is such a rotten person, no one really cares. I know that sounds insensitive, but this woman makes it her life's purpose to terrorize everyone around her. Just this morning when I spoke to my Dad, he was telling me that Aunt Laura had come over to scream at my Mom with a list of demands. She wanted soda, cigarettes, and various pills. As if my parents are the corner drug store. First of all, my parents don't have medicine to give out and they sure as hell wouldn't give it to her. Second, she was screaming so loud and fighting with my Mom that my Dad could hear it over his headphones up in his office. Now, Shi-chan said that her Mom was in a decent mood today but we all know that is because she wants Shi-chan to pay half the bills at the 1st of the month. As soon as Shi-chan does, Aunt Laura will just go back to being a monstrous tyrant. 

Whew and that's all I will say about that.   

Thanksgiving was spent in pain. We went to Amanda's Aunt Lola's for the afternoon. She rented out the clubhouse where she lives, which was awesome! But the metal folding chairs were too low to the ground and me, being a long-legged person, had kind of hard time with that. Plus they really hurt my back. I did switch to another type of chair in the club house for a little bit, but I barely fit in it and it kind of hurt my back in other ways. Aside from the physical pain, I had a lot of fun. I watched part of Frozen with Aunt Lola's granddaughters. We played 99 and I learned how to play card bingo, speed, and Mao (sp?). 

Later Thanksgiving night we decided to go visit a friend. But first, because we thought she was taking a nap, we stopped by Hasting's to get a coffee and look around. We found a few Christmas/Yule presents there, which was cool and it wasn't very busy. After we went there we went to visit our friend and watched a few episodes of RWBY with her. It was really good and I want to finish the show. 

I have also learned that not only is a friend having trouble with her husband (he told her he wanted a divorce on her birthday and this is after she found out he was cheating on her) but that she may have lupus. She and I haven't always been friends, there was a huge mess when she left my cousin Tony- as she was right to do but I didn't really know why she did at the time and on top of that, it was the way in which she did. That aside, we have since become friends, she is a wonderful mother, and has been a great friend to my cousin Shi-Chan. More than that, despite the fact that she and Tony had an ugly fall out, she still brings their kids over to see the rest of the family, which she really doesn't have to do. She never had a problem with the rest of us just Tony. Anyway, I am really scared for her and pretty much want to smack the shit out of her husband because he just doesn't care. He still wants a divorce and has said something awful to her son, something that pretty much made me cry a little for him. He is quite honestly the kindest, sweetest little boy I have ever met, well mannered, and so loving and that man just ripped his heart out. It is disgusting and my friend doesn't really know what to do. She will probably go ahead with the divorce, what else can she do, and then try to figure out where to move her kids and herself. Either she'll stay in the town she is in or she will move back to Wichita. As much as we all don't want to kids to have to change schools in the middle of the year, it might be easier on them if they are closer to family that can help their mother and who love them to pieces. 

Last night Amanda and I cuddled in bed and watched Snowpiercer after I finished some homework. It was pretty good. We then watched a few episodes of American Dad before deciding we needed toast and Coco. We got a little sucked into a movie on the Hallmark channel her mother was watching. It had cats in it. 

Today I have managed to get a little more of my homework done, but really I am just overwhelmed and in need of a couple of days without homework period. I just need to crochet and watch movies or read something for fun, something that's not a text book, and I need to get some sewing started... except I can't do that until Cathy gets her stuff out of the dining room, or at least gives me some room to sew. 

But for now, I am going to get back to homework before laying down for bed. I have to make sure I am up at a normal, decent time, so I can be ready for my tutoring appointment. Since I've been sick, my sleeping schedule has been a mess. I've been getting up around 2 pm and that's not okay. I will feel better when I get back to a normal routine and rhythm. Seriously, I almost cried over the anime I used to watch but haven't in a long time. That's just silly.  

Quick update!

I decided to delete my Crimson's Crafts and culinary blog tonight. As much as I would have loved to keep it, I just haven't had the time to truly give it the attention it deserves. So for now on, I shall revert to posting craft projects and cooking projects here again. 

That is all.

Busy, Sick, and Miserable

I've been really kind of busy lately. We've had company again and done a few things with the IEPG. Earlier this week we went to a class or rather a discussion on Heathenism. I've always liked our Heathen Coordinator and he is still and will be a go to person when one has questions. It's also nice to hear someone express some of the same opinions you have when it comes to the Gods and Wights and so forth. However, it's not that I don't like new people, but there were two out of four new people who came who I just really didn't like. One I found to be kind of rude and annoying. I understand that she and her husband came in from out of town but if waiting a few more minutes for others to show up is enough of an annoyance to you, then maybe you shouldn't drive and hour and half to come to a two hour discussion and leave your dogs in the car while it's cold. Or get testy when someone else is talking and didn't seem to get the memo or understand that certain things may not happen as far as an open Kindred until next year. I mean really, chill the fuck out.

Another woman was only faintly annoying and in that way, she was kind of, oh I don't know, enlightening? She was talking about Oath Rings for her and her fiance and of course, Fiona, Amanda, and I didn't really know what that was so we looked them up when we got home. Apparently this woman is extremely particular and possibly half full of bull shit? I'm not sure. It's a toss up because she seems to know enough but some of her info is very weird. Apparently you can make Oath Rings, they aren't that hard to find, and aren't even wedding rings. The Kindred uses them to make Oaths. I suppose you can make an Oath on the Ring during the ceremony? Not quite sure on that one, but I will be looking into this further because it's kind of neat! However, I did not really agree with her that depression is a luxury that people today have. Yes, people in olden days had to work the land and were busy as hell trying to survive, but if you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, it doesn't matter how much work you do, you can still be depressed. I know this first hand, even with working in the land. Do I feel better doing gardening, sure, but I still get depressed. So that kind of ticked me off. That and she said that she had to pay 400 dollars to get a Thor's Hammer pendant made and shipped from Scandinavia seemed like total bull shit because I've seen them on the Internet for years when I wasn't in the market for one. But apparently she wanted a very special one made of silver but silver isn't that expensive. 

Somehow Fiona managed to get some flu-like bug and it hit her fast! She was sick all night at my house and I slept right through it, granted I sleep through a lot. She snuck out of my house like a ninja before I was up and left a note on my toilet explaining what happened. And then, I caught it whatever it is that she had. I've spent the last couple of days and night sick and miserable complete with fevers and all the gross bathroom issues. Today, I am feeling a little better, but my body whole body hurts something awful and I'm not even sure if I will be at my desk much longer not to mention that I'm really tired. I can't seem to handle water, which is odd. It makes my stomach cramp horribly, so when I do drink it I have to sip carefully and small. I've managed to keep some ginger ale and soup down but not very much. Amanda made Cream of Wheat for me for breakfast. I wasn't able to finish is but hey, that was a couple of hours ago and I'm feeling a little hungry. I might try some soup again and see how I do with tea because that's basically water with herbs. 

I had to e-mail my instructors yesterday and let them know I'm sick. I told them I would do my best to work on homework but some stuff might be late. Since I feel a little better today, I am going to work on a little of both. 

      

Unhelpful doctor, room arrangement, overwhelming and sadness.

I don't remember who did this picture but it's pretty, it's a kitty, and it makes me happy so that for me, that's all that matters.

Last night Amanda and I rearranged the bedroom. We have more room and it looks nice. We should be able to really move back into the bedroom to get more homework done now instead of having to wait for Amanda's mom to go to bed at night. Did I mention that Cathy changed her work hours to later in the day. So she can stay up later and only goes to bed when I am getting ready to. So any homework I want to get done absolutely has to be done when she is at work. And then I have to move into the bedroom if I have any hopes of doing it. Which means I don't really get to spend time with Amanda because she's still stuck out in the living room because Vizio still hasn't sent her her fucking computer! But that's another rant for a different time.  

I went to the doctor today for my ear. I have a bump inside and at first I thought because it hurt, it was a zit, but it's not red and doesn't have a head. It is also really strange because I am really good about cleaning my ears. Anyway, it's been causing me some pain and discomfort and even hampering my hearing. I've tried antibiotic ointment and finally decided to go to the doctor. I didn't get to see my usual doctor but another. She didn't have my chart and thought that I was a new patient. She was very nice but also not very helpful. Her advice was to try moist heat for the next couple of days to see if it will resolve itself. If not, then I need to fill and take the prescription of antibiotics. Oh and did I mention that I have gained weight again? That bit just about made me scream while I was standing on the doctor's office scale.

After the doctor's visit, a very short and disheartening conversation with my Dad, and some other things all piling up on me, had me kind of- no really sobbing on the phone to my mother while waiting for Bethy and her sister to bring their laundry down to my Jeep to bring it over for washing. I am so tried of Amanda's parents lying to me about food I make. They say they like it but really they don't like change, they don't like any spice what so ever, and that really is okay. But they also don't want us to eat food separately from them. I don't like Cathy's bland-ass cooking and what she cooks, is slowly killing me. Its so unhealthy! I just wish people wouldn't lie to me. Like when Cathy said she would help me figure out how to expand the coat pattern I bought to make me a coat that I actually liked and that actually fit me properly. She even called me today and asked me if I had tried some on at Lane Bryant. I have, they don't really fit right. But she doesn't want to be bothered to help me I guess.

Also my Dad hasn't been answering my text messages. Turns out he just didn't feel like replying to them, which is annoying and kind of hurtful. I don't really get to talk to him too much since I haven't been able to play Guild Wars or really game much at all. It's like he doesn't really have anything to say. I know he's really depressed but I'm really depressed too and still get up everyday and try to make the best of it. They have also had my cousin over a lot, which makes me happy because she needs all the breaks she can get from my insane and abusive aunt. But sometimes it feels like my family back home has just written me off and have started to replace me. I feel like I am being punished because I moved back to Northern Idaho with Amanda. I've spent the last three years miserable in my living situation, fighting with a body that will not cooperate, and being humiliated for all my health issues (by doctors and a judge). I've made the trip home twice, once for my Uncle's funeral, and again for a month long visit but none of my family can be bothered to come see me, even when they had the money to do so. My Mom said that they haven't written me off and aren't replacing me. It still hurts and I am upset that I even had thoughts like this.

Dad also said that he's only read some of the short stories I sent him last term but not all of them and hasn't sent me any feedback. If I can't get my own family to read my stuff, how am I supposed to expect the general public to?  

But we have Bethy here tonight, I am pushing my homework to Saturday night. We've got a little Angry Orchard's Hard Apple Cider, and are going to watch movies. I might even crochet. 

Running a little behind

I decided to do a little cosmetic change with my blog while I'm taking a night off from school and remembering to do it. As it is, I am a little behind in my classes. It's my fault, I misread some directions in my math class and was trying to do homework for week seven instead of week one. I got a little stuck. So this week I called the tutoring center learned my mistake and did the homework for week one. I also did the homework for this week for my context of writing class. Except that I forgot that we are supposed to be doing journals for our big final project. I still have those to do and this week's math work and the 1st exam. I will probably get it done tomorrow and Sunday.

We managed to get all but one piece of our Halloween/autumn decor packed up. It's not in the garage yet. I don't know for sure when we are doing Christmas decorations but I am kind of hoping Amanda and I can be moved out by then. She's looking for another job but I will talk more about that later. I've been really tired lately so I am keeping this short. 

Very belated Haunted Hump Day 10 and Halloween Party

I know I am painfully late with the last Haunted Humpday post. Part of that is on purpose and part of that is not. Last weekend we had Samhain with the IEPG group, we've had company, and I spent some time with my friend Jen before she moved back to Wisconsin. I also had a new term of school start up this week and we've been very busy getting ready for the Halloween Party at our friend's house. Anyway, the above picture is me in my Halloween costume. I was a vampire sans the teeth (never got around to getting them). I made the shirt from a black knit material and black lace and while I still have to put bias tape (?) on the neckline, I can say it is one of the most comfortable shirts I own. Why? Because it's actually tailored to me!  Don't ask about my hair, it's a curly mess and I'd already started sweating and drinking by then.

These were our forks and napkins for the party. It took Amanda asking if we could do this, me trying to do it, and Fiona figuring out how to make the teeth stay for it to work! 

Our dessert table has Chris B's ghost brownies, my green coffin cake, and a blue berry lemonade-lemonade-vodka-hibiscus pomegranate vodka punch.

There's Amanda making out with one of my haunted skulls again. She's done in years past. 

We had such a good time! A lot of our friends up here came and brought their kids, fur kids included. There was food, drinks, fun, and dancing. The kids had a lot of candy to snack on and after they left, I got pretty drunk. I actually felt pretty good, danced a bit, somehow I ended up on the floor. Apparently Amanda decided she needed to help me out of a chair and I didn't exactly want to go. I also apparently walked up the mirror and looked in it and said "I look like a princess". I don't remember this but everyone else does and they certainly gave me shit about it this morning. It was good fun though. Shenanigans abounded for certain. 

This morning was another matter. My back was sure to remind me that I can't move like a normal person no matter how much I want to, and that I have to be careful. 

Thank you Marfi for hosting the Haunted Humpday Event!!! I hope to jump in again next year with more fun goodies to share! For now, I am dragging myself to bed so I can do my statistics homework tomorrow.    

  

Rainy rainy day, house to myself, and allergies

This is the view out my patio window of this lovely, wet, rainy day. I always feel happier on cloudy, gloomy days, and even more so on rainy ones. Aside from wanting to crawl back into bed for a nap (been sleeping really late and going to bed later too recently), I kind of don't want to waste the day. I have the house to myself. Amanda is at work, her parents went to lunch, and the cats are either settling down for nap time or nibbling at the food dish. The only thing thwarting me are my allergies and my body.

My whole body is achy, my back the worst of it but I am hoping a nice hot shower will help to ease some of that up, if not, I've got a tens unit I can use for a bit before I leave tonight. Oh yeah, I am heading over to Spokane tonight to pick up a friend and go to a Wiccan Spirituality Circle. I think it's going to be interesting. As for my allergies, well, I forgot to take the 24 hour allergy pill I usually take, yesterday, and am paying for it now. I'll go take it when I get up to take the rest of my meds. 

Oh I really cannot tell you how lovely it is to just sit and listen to it rain. No one is talking, there aren't any TVs on in the house. Well, okay, one of my neighbors is outside talking on their phone but it's not loud and it's not inside my house. It is just nice and peaceful.  

Haunted Humpday 9

It's Haunted Humpday again and this time I am getting to it early and starting off with a recent craft. I actually knocked this one out Monday afternoon. I've wanted a larger tote bag in which I could carry some of my bigger craft projects so I made one. And I fell in love with this vintage witch cameo fabric! So did Narcisa.

Of course I had planned to have at least part of my Halloween costume sewn by now but it just didn't seem to happen today. I am hoping production on that starts tonight at the latest. So in lieu of that I thought I would talk about the book I've finally been able to get back to and the show that's been keeping me company whilst I've been sewing and crocheting. 

My cousin Shi-Chan strongly recommended The Originals, a spin off of the Vampire Diaries. She said her Grandma watches it and says it's better than the Vampire Diaries. (Which I thought was just getting good since I got caught up on last season) She knew how much I loved Elijah when he was in the Vampire Diaries and I was starting to have a love hate viewer relationship with Klaus. So, after waiting for it to show up on Netflix, I decided to give it a go. I rather like it! Elijah doesn't disappoint and here I am hoping that Klaus can still be redeemed right along with him.   

I know I have gushed over Jeaniene Frost's books before but I really do love the Night Huntress Series. This is book 5 of the series and I am really enjoying it. I had to take a little break from it while working on homework and also because there are two spin off books that take place between the previous book and this one. 

Other than that, I have been busy working on Halloween goodies. I've created the event page for the Halloween Party we are hosting, put up the invitation, narrowed down what decorations we are taking (we have so few but I am taking nearly all of them which leaves my house a bit bare), and I have created a large playlist of Halloween Music to play at the party. I've also decided on what food we are going to provide. When it was a smaller gathering at our house a few different appetizers were far more manageable, but since we've so graciously been given a different venue, a friend's house, we are doing nachos. It's relatively cheap and simple to do. Apart from that I have a few other little things to do, sewing my costume being the biggest part.

This Saturday the IEPG is having a large Samhain Potluck and Celebration. We are, of course, going and need to take along some food. But I can't, for the life of me decided what I want to take. I was thinking soup since the days are getting cooler but my friend Fiona (who used to be known as Christine B- she's changing her name) is going  to take white chicken chili. I would make a dessert but lots of people bring those and we invariably end up with more desserts than main dishes and side dishes. So I am trying to decide between pot roast, my cranberry apple chicken, or one of the recipes I found on Pinterest.  It's so hard because all of it sounds so good! Especially right now when its 2 am I am hungry and could really go for a snack. Time for some water and for me to hit the hay.

I keep forgetting to do this: Thank you Marfi for hosting this project!!!

So tired, my phone is crapping out, and the last week of the term...

Amanda and I made a late night run to Wal-Mart the other night and ended up getting chips, chocolate, soda, and a Rocket Raccoon pillow. She'd been wanting to get me this pillow for awhile and since it was on clearance, she decided that night was the night to get it. I've been sleeping with it ever since.

I haven't really been on the computer since Monday during the day. So I haven't had the chance to talk about my wonderful 7th Anniversary. I got all gussied up and Amanda picked me up after she got off work. She had flowers waiting for me in the car, which was really sweet! We went to Azteca, a Mexican food restaurant, and we both devoured our food. It was delicious! Probably the best Mexican food I have had since moving up here. We even had dessert. Then we went to the late showing of Dracula Untold. I loved that movie and the soundtrack is really good too! Of course you can probably guess what we followed all of that up with. It was a really good night! Oh and I pet a bat at our table, it was a fake one, part of the restaurants Halloween decor, but it was so cute, I had to touch it!

Wow, I don't know what's going on here in town but police, fire, and ambulance sires sure have been going off and on the last few minutes. Hope people are okay and there isn't another big wreck somewhere. 

I have been so tired the last couple of days. My skin is breaking out, I've been craving everything, and been really hungry, and sleeping far too much plus I have been really exhausted. So that means I am getting ready to start my period. Since I've missed the last two months, I'm going to have a bad one this time. I just hope it's not so bad that I have to be put on meds to stop it again. I HATE that. I also hate that I crave such crappy processed food all the time. Pizza rolls are a total go to for me and not a good one. I always crave steak or cheese but around this time I want all of that along with cake candy, pizza, chips, and other crap. Why can't I crave other things?! 

This is the last week of this term for me. I've been doing the last of my assignments and just have a couple more to do. They won't me take too long, for which I am happy. I am also happy that it looks like I will have an A in my writing class and a B in my World Lit class. Hopefully that will bump my GPA up a little more. I'm sitting at a 3.33 but I want to graduate with at least a 3.50. 

My cell phone has really begun giving me the finger. I've had it for several years and really liked it! It;s not a smart phone, it's a dumb phone but I never really minded because it had a nice slide feature that had a qwerty text keyboard. But it's had a little water damage, it beeps at me when ever I am on the phone, sometimes you can't hear your calls very well or the person you're talking to sounds really quiet, and did I mention that Amanda recently dropped it? Yep, she dropped it and stepped on it. So now it's kind of loose and wobbly. LOL, and recently my keys don't want to register. I have to push them several times before they decided to cooperate. So, I am going to shop a little bit on  Amazon and see what I can come up with. I am going to gravitate toward a smart phone. 

Aside from that I need to make a birthday card for my cousin. I'll do it on the computer and e-mail it to her or post it to facebook in a message to her. I also have a lot of sewing to get done this weekend and next week.

Belated Haunted Humpday # 8

You'll all have to forgive me for being late with this Haunted Humpday post. This is the last week of this term and I am finishing up homework. I have also been sleeping a lot more than I would like but I will talk about that in another post. 

This week I am going to talk about two movies and a little craft from last year. For our anniversary, Amanda took me to Dracula Untold. I loved it! I really liked the cast and the story, the effects, everything! Plus, it sets up the story line for future monster movies. I read an article somewhere, can't remember where, saying that someone was going to do reboots of all of the famous monster movies. I am excited! Especially if Dracula will be in them! 

Amanda and I also watched a movie a few nights ago called Devil's Pass. It's horror film about some film students who want to make a documentary about what happened to a group of people who were lost in the Ural mountains in Russia. It's really interesting and actually a little scary. We enjoyed it. 

 Amanda and I sort of collect Monster High Dolls. Last year for Halloween, we made a house for them out of boxes and various things because they are freaky fabulous and needed to be part of the decor! 

It's nothing special or spectacular, but it was really neat for what it was. We ended up giving the house to one of Amanda's younger cousins so she could have it for her Monster High Dolls. 

So tired, the easy part is over, I ganked something from an FB post and my purse really sticks!

I ganked this picture from the Facebook Fibro and Chronic Pain Support page. It really does give a good depiction of what I feel like on a daily basis, well except for the fact that it doesn't show for my herniated disk and disk degeneration. There it is. That is me, every damned day. This is what my life will be until the day I die. Some days are better than others. Some days I can barely walk (that's more from the herniated disk). It is what it is. I didn't want this. I didn't choose it. I am taking medication for it, but it doesn't get rid of all the pain, just makes it a little bearable, or tolerable. It used to be that Amanda couldn't touch me certain ways or in certain places without me hissing or gasping, and recoiling. Now, while I need her to rub my back to help ease some of the tension, if she rubs for more than a minute, it really starts to hurt but I am still so desperate to get things to ease up that I deal with it. It's a kind double edged trade of. 

Depressing part over, I am so tired today! Honestly, I just want to curl up and take a nap. But, I can't. I have to go pick up Amanda from work and do some more homework. The easy part of it is done. Now comes the hard part wherein I have to write a 250 word short story and then 500 word short story. After that, I have to write a minimum 4-5 page paper (which is almost practically written just in the outline). I need to have all of this done and turned in by Sunday. However, since I have a friend's going away party (she is moving back to the Midwest) and an anniversary party, which get this, is a day filled with snacks, chatting, and table top gaming with the celebrating couple their family and friends. It is a really neat idea! 

On to why my purse stinks! Oh it is awful! Last week at the All Things Pumpkin Potluck with the IEPG group, Amanda got two free herbal mixtures from two wonderful ladies who make all sorts of candles, tinctures, tonics, bath goodies, and foot stuff.  One smelled really good, but the other, whew! The really stinky one is supposed to pull the toxins from your feet, which I think is really awesome! However, we put them in my purse and now the smell won't go away. Amanda suggested that I put a tea bag in there to absorb the smell and then in turn perfume my purse with the scent of tea. Sure, I will do that, as soon as I figure out which of our hundred bags of tea I want my purse to smell like. 

No, seriously, if left alone in the tea and coffee isle of the store, I would compulsively buy every kind. Amanda's Mom threatened my life if I brought home any more tea. I don't drink it all the time, but I just love having it, smelling it, knowing I can have any kind of tea I want (if we have it) whenever I want it. I know. It is a problem. But I could have worse things to hoard. Oh shit, I think I know what my 250 words story is going to be about now. Muwaha!

Haunted Humpday 7- better a few minutes late than never.

Amanda lied. Last night was the Lunar Eclipse not tonight. So, I missed it but apparently there is supposed to be another one in April. YAY! But, I did go to the Blood/Sanguine Full Moon Ritual with my IEPG Family tonight. It was a nice ritual about letting go of all the things that hurt, make you sad, or angry, just all the bad stuff so we can get ready to start the new year, which for most pagan folk, is on Halloween or rather Samhain. 

This Haunted Humpday I bring news of having purchased the material for the shirt/dress/costume I am making. I found a nice black knit fabric and some black lace. I decided that would be much easier (rather cheaper) than trying to make the lovely dress I wanted to make. So along with this shirt/dress I am making, I'm going to throw on a corset, my boots, and wear some black leggings, do my hair and make up and get some teeth and bam! Sexy fat vampire! Amanda talked about me going as a panda. No, just no. I like pandas but I don't want to be one for Halloween. 

As for our Halloween Party, it's going to be really awesome! I've already decided on our part of the decorations, food, my costume and Amanda is going to do hers (she's going to be one of the characters in her book), what drinks we are going to bring, and I'm going to do a small photo booth and set up my camera. The next big planning adventure is music. Scott wants to dance and since he and his lovely wife Robin are providing the venue (their house) I need to make sure that happens. It really will be a lot of fun, I think. And I will have some fun pictures to post afterward. 

That is all for this week! 

A Halloween Party?

 

Amanda and I are planning to have a Halloween Party. For now, we are keeping it small with just a few guests, mostly because we don't have a lot of room and not a lot of seating. And well, food and drinks cost a lot. We might extend the guest list depending on whether or not we can get a larger location (the club house at Aunt Lola's) Of course then we will have to turn it into a family event with no alcohol. *sigh* 

We're going with a vampire theme and probably going to do everything black and red. I will post pictures when everything is set up, but that's going to be at the end of the month to it will be awhile.

This is definitely one of those times that I wish Amanda and I had our own place, there would be more room for people to move about and sleep if they needed to stay over. 

Labels: just one of those things that really gets on my nerves

Okay, here's the thing, I am sick of people being so centered on labels. It's kind of like how people are so obsessed with words. Everyone is so hypersensitive and afraid of hurting precious little snowflakes that we have trigger warnings and stupid unnecessary things like that. Everything is so PC it's almost sickening and god(s) forbid you step off that PC line with the wrong person. The wrong person, the person who is hypersensitive or is playing hypersensitive to champion someone else's cause will run you into the ground and make you feel like shit just because you slipped up and said "that's gay" or that "that's retarded" or even "you guys". Or god forbid you try to categorize them when describing them to other people or not categorize them properly.  

Now, don't get me wrong, I totally understand being respectful of someone else, but lecturing or tearing into someone because you got all butt hurt over a label or a word really doesn't help your cause. In fact, most of the time it just pisses people off and chances are you made things worse because now they will act and speak out of spite.

Instead of all of this nonsense, we need to get out of the grade school mentality and grow up, get thicker skins. There are much bigger issues going on in the world than if Jimmy down the street called you an offensive name or Sally, who you work with, told someone you were such and such. 

Here is what I believe:

Labels are expressions, definitions, and cages of who we are. But we are more than our labels. 

For instance, I am a Heathen and a Kitchen Witch (both things I came into gradually and am still learning about). I am a writer. I am in a lesbian relationship. I am a feminist a cat lover, anime lover, bibliophile, writer, cook, and house wife. Medical professionals term me morbidly obese. I am a brunette, white, female. A Mormon once called me unteachable but that was because I was refused to convert to Mormonism. I am not unteachable, I am learning something everyday from school, from life, and from self reflection.

My point: there are many other labels I could attach to myself to give you an idea of who I am and what I like. But they aren't the whole picture. There is so much more to me! I am a growing, individual creature. My labels can cage me but I don't let them. I move past them, grow beyond their limitations. Sure, they are a quick way, a snapshot if you will, of getting to know someone on the surface, but they don't really tell the story. Which is why I get so damned frustrated with people immediately jumping on the "well I am trans/gay/christian/ect.." thing right away as if that's all I need to know about them. None of that tells me if they are a good person, if they would make a good friend. All it does tell me is that we may or may not have something in common.

Labels can be building blocks but if you rely on them too heavily, they will limit you.   

I keep trying to disappear into the couch but it's not happening...

I made the mistake of coming home from Corbin park today so I could pee in the comfort of my own bathroom. Of course, Amanda's parents said they were going fishing today. They didn't. No, they were home and moving some stuff out into the garage. I decided to pick up the bedroom a little and vacuum, which was a mistake. Like every morning I woke up in pain but vacuuming really hurts my back. I did manage to get the sheets into the wash. 

~Side note there is something beeping in this living room but I don't know where or what~

So, I decided to take a rest and watched a Dude Like Hella Vlog, check my e-mail and what not. Amanda's mother began to chit chat about half a dozen things, most of which involve me doing this or that with her but nearly all of it I don't have answers for. Like decorating for Halloween. Amanda and I haven't decided what we are doing yet and I have a friend's birthday part to plan/decorate for so I don't want to go doing a bunch of stuff, especially when I hurt. 

But this woman is awake and hyper and ready to go, talking incessantly. At least she was for a few minutes. She's informed me that she is going to go lay down because she hurts, which I don't doubt. She's running herself ragged at her job and really shouldn't be working in the first place. Still, I need some quiet time to edit my story before I turn it in tonight and I'm just not ready to be talked at. I'm actually very tired. Chronic pain takes it toll on a person ad more than that, I've been feeling kind of sluggish so either I'm having another bout of anemia coming on or I am getting ready to start my period. Since I missed the last month or so, when it comes, it will be awful. 

Ah, but she has gone to bed and the house is quiet, finally. Time to get back to work... or take a quick nap myself. I'll switch the laundry before I do anything else.    

Girl Music, preachy relatives, feeling a little more Halloweeny, trips to the park

How I feel every morning

This morning I awoke feeling like what my Mother calls "death warmed over". My whole body ached and my back was so tight and locked up that I almost didn't make it to the bathroom. Not the happiest way to start the morning. I did have a very disturbing Tom Hiddleston dream if that's any consolation. Really disturbing, enough so that I don't really want to walk about it. 

But I got up and took Amanda to work then drove to Corbin Park, which is between her work and the library. The human traffic is more prevalent there since it double as a Frisbee Golf course and its Saturday. I parked facing the river, rolled down the windows, and pulled out my laptop to start a story for my writing class. I actually started one the day before yesterday but really wasn't feeling it so changed gears, never mind that one of them is due tomorrow along with my mid-term paper for my other class... Anyway it was nice, had a nice cross breeze too and had I not had to find a bathroom, I might have stayed until the battery ran out on my laptop. 

I didn't end up doing that much today. Read and felt so tired and awful that I took a nap for a couple of hour before going to pick Amanda up from work. After which I made dinner. I pretty much feel worse than I did earlier and wish I could just crawl into bed and sleep. However, what sucks the most about this is no matter how exhausted I am physically from pain, my brain is still awake and moving so sleep is out of the question for awhile. Plus, homework. 

I've been to the park a few other times this week. I went one afternoon and called my Aunt Laura. We had a pleasant enough conversation, she didn't talk shit on anyone I actually care about for too long (My Mom- her identical twin- or my Cousin Shi-Chan). She's decided to entertain the Mormons. I don't know how she managed that. She never really leaves her house and groups like that aren't supposed to be going through the community where she lives. Oh well. So she preached at me a little. And the next day my Grandmother preached at me while asking about the UU Church I go to. Well, I don't actually go to it, I go to the events and meetings held by the IEPG, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell her that.

But tonight, Amanda's Mom has been kind of preachy at us and I've just about had it. Damn it, I am pagan and if this woman hasn't figured it out then that's on her. I don't preach at her. Of course this is probably her last little stabs at Amanda since she's so disappointed that neither of her children came out normal. Ugh! Grow up and get over yourself already. She should just be happy that at least one of them still actually loves her and wants to be around her. 

I am feeling the Halloween bug a little more now. Yesterday Amanda and I went to Spokane for some "us" time. We stopped by a Halloween store and now we are talking about costumes and a possible party- assuming we can get anyone to come and her mother doesn't take it over like she does everything else. But I don't want to think about that. 

At the moment neither Amanda and I are doing homework. I am writing this blog and she is playing pengle on facebook. I've got a combination of Pj Havey, Poe, Fiona Apple, and Alanis  Morissette playing in the background. Seriously, I really want to just crawl into bed. Everything hurts.